Broadwaybabyto<p>“You could be doing more.”</p><p>“Is the pain really THAT bad? I’m sure you could get out of bed if you really tried.”</p><p>“Why aren’t you going to that party/dinner/event? Everyone thinks you’re lazy and antisocial.”</p><p>“Do you really need to stay home from work? You’re being lazy. Force yourself to go in.”</p><p>“Do you really need to go to the hospital? It’s not that bad - just push through.”</p><p>“See? The ER doctor didn’t even help you. It was stupid of you to go in. There’s nothing wrong. Just try harder.”</p><p>This used to be my harmful inner monologue. </p><p>I’m sure all of us with chronic illness have said similar things to ourselves. </p><p>It’s incredibly hard to adapt to becoming disabled - and we often gaslight ourselves and push our bodies to their breaking point. </p><p>We run from reality. </p><p>It’s understandable - no one WANTS to be chronically ill. We didn’t grow up hoping to spend our lives stuck in bed dealing with unrelenting pain & fatigue. </p><p>Chronic illness can and does strike out of nowhere - catching you off guard and forever altering the course of your life.</p><p>Of course that’s a difficult thing to accept. </p><p>Often we have doctors, friends and family downplaying our situation - telling us to “just try harder” or that “other people have it worse”. </p><p>Who in the chronic illness community hasn’t heard “have you tried yoga?” Or “just be glad you don’t have X condition”?</p><p>The reality is people have a difficult time facing chronic illness. This doesn’t just apply to patients. Those who love us can struggle to accept it as well. </p><p>Watching someone lose their health is hard. Knowing there’s no hope of improvement? It scares people. </p><p>We understand acute illness. You get sick or injured, you rest and then you get better. Things go “back to normal”.</p><p>We also understand terminal illness. We are able to process a condition that will gradually get worse and then take your life. /6<br>Where we struggle is with chronic illness. Existing in the grey. People HATE the grey. </p><p>They find it hard to imagine that you could become sick with something that will completely ruin your quality of life - but won’t kill you. </p><p>They can’t imagine that the suffering could continue for months, years and even decades. </p><p>So they deny it. They minimize it. They tell us to try harder, think positive & play through the pain. </p><p>We internalize those messages - and before you know it - you’re doubting yourself.</p><p>I did this for years. Constantly telling myself it wasn’t really “that bad”. I just needed to try harder, exercise more, avoid the hospital, think positive etc etc. </p><p>It didn’t work. You can’t “try harder” your way out of chronic illness. It doesn’t work that way. </p><p>Society is already so cruel to people with disabilities - we don’t need to be cruel to ourselves. </p><p>It took me a long time to realize this. To let go of the blame and accept that I WAS severely ill. It wasn’t my fault, I hadn’t done anything wrong. </p><p>It was time to put the “coulds” and the “shoulds” to bed and find a way to move into a place of kindness and acceptance. </p><p>It was time to stop running from my illnesses. To stop trying to figure out every single flare. To stop putting myself down. </p><p>It didn’t come easy. In fact I still struggle every day. </p><p>But I’m putting in the effort. The amazing thing is the more effort I put into letting go - the happier I am.</p><p>Instead of wasting energy on blame - I’m finding ways to adapt & accommodate my diseases.</p><p>I’m managing to carve out moments of peace and calm - which when you’re chronically ill can be incredible rare. </p><p>Our bodies are unreliable - constantly throwing us curve balls, flares and setbacks. </p><p>We NEED the calm wherever we can find it. </p><p>Which brings me to my third and final article in my series on living with MCAS - Learning to Let Go. </p><p>I hope this article helps other people find their own path to acceptance, accommodation and peace: </p><p><a href="https://www.disabledginger.com/p/learning-to-let-go-how-to-accept" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">disabledginger.com/p/learning-</span><span class="invisible">to-let-go-how-to-accept</span></a></p><p><a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/CovidIsAirborne" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>CovidIsAirborne</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/CovidCautious" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>CovidCautious</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/CovidIsNotOver" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>CovidIsNotOver</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/CleanAir" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>CleanAir</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/WearaMask" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>WearaMask</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Disability" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Disability</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/LongCovid" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LongCovid</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Ableism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Ableism</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Denial" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Denial</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/CleanAir" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>CleanAir</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Pandemic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Pandemic</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/PublicHealth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>PublicHealth</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/InfectionControl" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>InfectionControl</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Eugenics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Eugenics</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/SafeHealthcare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>SafeHealthcare</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/N95" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>N95</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Respirators" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Respirators</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/MasksWork" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>MasksWork</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/MaskUp" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>MaskUp</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Spoonie" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Spoonie</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Discrimination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Discrimination</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/Dysautonomia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Dysautonomia</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/mecfs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>mecfs</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/pots" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>pots</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/mcas" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>mcas</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/communitycare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>communitycare</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/wearamask" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>wearamask</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/chronicillness" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>chronicillness</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/keepmasksinhealthcare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>keepmasksinhealthcare</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/MaskBans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>MaskBans</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/NoMaskBans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>NoMaskBans</span></a></p>