Pinned toot
Pinned toot

me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

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Pinned toot

STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

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Now I'm falling asleep
And she's taking a shit
And he's taking a shit
And she's taking a shit

I'm not going on Wooden Wild Mouse 1 while it's raining!

i recently had to explain to my little sister what C&A was, which caused my whole body to ossify instantly

my idea of romance and luxury is everything i ever saw in a tv commercial in the year 1993. i want to be proposed to in a pine shaker kitchen while immaculately clad in the latest fashions from C&A

I went too hard on healyn in that roast thread

they probably just knew if they mentioned within my earshot that there was a new sculpture trail, i would start going apeshit and trash the house

my parents went on a sculpture trail without me because they stopped loving me

aye sir, I've little nuts like a couple of organically grown pine nuts!

aye sir, I've little nuts like sparrows eggs!

just because we live in a toadstool in the woods and snuggle to sleep upon a pile of dandelion puffs doesnt mean that @pisscotheque and i aren't 'big hard lads'. in fact some would say it only proves that we are indeed 'rough and strong boys'.

@laser kasia's watchmen/meowing guitar parts toot absolutely always gets me. also pissco's bot's toot about its hobbies and this onster.farm/@so_confused/10236

there's probably a load more things though

sabri goes to the park. sabri gets too close to the geese. you know the rest of the trilogy

it doesn’t get easier you just get sweatier

every single day for eugen is like being hit in the ankles by a wiffle ball bat over and over forever

if i didn't want to be mercilessly razzed by a bunch of mischievous queers every day of my life, i simply wouldn't program a popular decentralised social networking application

aaaaaah thank you so much karen!! i'm going to appreciate @pisscotheque for being my fellow partner in piss, doing the first post i saw on this site that made me laugh till i cried, and being an all round wholesome good egg

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites