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i love thinking to myself "ok now. now i MUST do some work" then regaining consciousness 45 minutes later to find myself typing "im injecting soviet truth serum into my balls" in this website box

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my fuckin TRANSLATION PROJECT that i've been working on is finally finished and available!! Pere Ubu's Almanac is a hefty zine create by Alfred Jarry, the guy behind Ubu Roi and Exploits & Opinions of Dr Faustroll, in 1899. i don't think it's ever appeared in english translation before and i may have done a cack-handed job of it because i am a baby who has somehow learned to use a computer!! NEVERTHELESS monoclelash.wordpress.com/2019

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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

@pisscotheque :thonk: I will stop my investigation here, for obvious reasons (human shit)

@pisscotheque I heard a rumour that you've been fouling the hutch to frame :lemon_dog:

white compsci graduates can and will reinvent phrenology and call it machine learning

if flubber is so good why didn't he have a son called "son of fl-

im the one who makes the rota for cleaning out :lemon_dog: 's hutch and that's why my name mysteriously doesn't appear on there

im doing progressively stupider and stupider things in an attempt to feel something

all my animal crossing animals are italian-american

this smash mouth cover of a steely dan song needs to be enjoyed beyond the OnlyDans discord server

youtube.com/watch?v=cuu5PkcbKd

who's the rhodes player in smash mouth. which member of smash mouth does that smokin hot organ solo. the rap break. incredible

taking a break from mastodon while your dad and i go to relationship counseling

my wife found this tea towel at her granny's house and I can't stop laughing at it

rugby man: this orb, this bollock, this cursèd ègg. no matter how i yeet it or holding bear it off the field it returns and returns to torment me ever. ten strongest lads of my country cannot help me be rid of it. and the language barrier prevents my opponents from coordinating with me in this goal.
opposing rugby man: (is thinking the same thing)

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites