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my switch friend code is 8569-4247-0009. please add me so you can set fire to my animal crossing town when the time comes

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my fuckin TRANSLATION PROJECT that i've been working on is finally finished and available!! Pere Ubu's Almanac is a hefty zine create by Alfred Jarry, the guy behind Ubu Roi and Exploits & Opinions of Dr Faustroll, in 1899. i don't think it's ever appeared in english translation before and i may have done a cack-handed job of it because i am a baby who has somehow learned to use a computer!! NEVERTHELESS monoclelash.wordpress.com/2019

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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

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STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

I'll race any horse now. 100 laps around the garden! The horse will win though

"wanking" mention 

buddy, if you aren't jacking off out your window at 6pm every tuesday, well then i guess you just hate the nhs amd

blazing a fatty boom batty with harold budd

food poll 

angel delight

The family of George Floyd have confirmed that this is the only legitimate fundraiser they are operating. not sure which fake ones, if any, may have been going around here earlier but this is it: gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

pissco has a big ban hanny button that moves around their computer screen of it's own will, constantly tempting them to ban hanny.

im sitting in my underwear trying to work but im distracting myself because im too fit. think of the economy.

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it's freitag baby (german for it's friday baby)

guitar is woodwind if you fart in it. trumpet can be percussion. synth? that's a power tool. fuck it up

standing in front of a full length mirror nude, looking at my dick through a pair of binoculars

food poll 

really thought you guys were gonna bungle this one but it looks like the correct answer is winning

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food 

angel delight discourse is tearing gfsw apart

food 

the thing about angel delight is that it is a crime

starting a nonprofit to turn your freshman year dorm roommate into an eboy

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites