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my fuckin TRANSLATION PROJECT that i've been working on is finally finished and available!! Pere Ubu's Almanac is a hefty zine create by Alfred Jarry, the guy behind Ubu Roi and Exploits & Opinions of Dr Faustroll, in 1899. i don't think it's ever appeared in english translation before and i may have done a cack-handed job of it because i am a baby who has somehow learned to use a computer!! NEVERTHELESS monoclelash.wordpress.com/2019

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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

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STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

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Now I'm falling asleep
And she's taking a shit
And he's taking a shit
And she's taking a shit

fucking offended about how many elements there are. you don't need most of those

@snakeboy "i exclusively masturbate" - snake boy at godforsaken dot website

i exclusively masturbate to JOI videos because otherwise I just forget what i'm meant to be doing and get distracted

*italian carly rae jepsen voice* YOU BREAKA MY BALLS, MOITE

@pisscotheque one extremely funny thing about capability brown is he didn't get the nickname because he was capable, he simply said the word "capability" sometimes

fuck iggle piggle and his manicured lawn. fuck the teletubbies and their landscaped hobbit holes. capability brown called, he wants his fascist vision of a neutered arcadia back

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15 years ago today I trapped my nuts in a plastic deckchair and I'm still relaxing baby

downtown abbey movie please reveal the secret of the "shadow abbey" hinted at in the logo

i think the fact that my teen years coincided perfectly with both the first decade of the 2000s and the new labour's two terms in office has left my brain uniquely and irreparably fucked. i emerged into 2010 barely knowing what was real

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites