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my fuckin TRANSLATION PROJECT that i've been working on is finally finished and available!! Pere Ubu's Almanac is a hefty zine create by Alfred Jarry, the guy behind Ubu Roi and Exploits & Opinions of Dr Faustroll, in 1899. i don't think it's ever appeared in english translation before and i may have done a cack-handed job of it because i am a baby who has somehow learned to use a computer!! NEVERTHELESS monoclelash.wordpress.com/2019

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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

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STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

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Now I'm falling asleep
And she's taking a shit
And he's taking a shit
And she's taking a shit

it's time to read the middle english wikipedia article about frogges 

Pose has a beach episode and that means it’s an anime

i've seen what princess fiona looks like naked and i'm telling u I could feasibly be her body double

website landing page: enter site
me: thanks i'd love to

i remember sitting down in my room after getting accepted to college and thinking to myself, "i need to develop opinions about 90s hip hop as soon as possible"

being mental has the same effects as having a broken arm, for example, I find it hard to jack my enormous wang when im feeling a bit sad. it's exactly the same.

it seems to be easier for us today to imagine the thoroughgoing deterioration of crisps and of hummus than to eat our actual dinner. perhaps this is due to some weakness in our imagination

exclaiming "fuck!!! this slaps!!" out loud to the empty corridors of my home

I don't care what the vet says, I'm not going to teach wilma how to code, I just won't

UK pol / important and fast 

ah, i sat down to post this half an hour ago in the middle of several tasks! cool that im still here

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites