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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

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STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

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Now I'm falling asleep
And she's taking a shit
And he's taking a shit
And she's taking a shit

looking at the telephone is far more fun nowadays than it used to be

my sincerely held belief about my mastodon friends is that you all have worms

i think i could eat top soil and be unaffected

"i will eliminate the middle class"
-elmer fudd

You think just because I'm sitting on this tree trunk, playing the banjo in the middle of a forest I have a good tale to tell you? You think I know something relevant to your journey? Maybe I'm just waiting for my raccoon husband. Dumbass

me, knocking on nmber 10 dowing street: hello theresa are u in there i need new pannier racks

i have sunburned the backs of my knees, which isn’t even a part of the body

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a stable mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and english heritage sites