limited deposits of salt @pisscotheque@godforsaken.website

old lady names are going to make a comeback and i am going to make a mint. i have a storage unit in van nuys filled with little fake license plates that say shit like "ethel" and "bernice"

for some reason obsessed with the idea that medieval peasants had CD players but the only albums available were called stuff like Songs In Praise Of Oats

when the sleep so good it doesn't matter you shit yourself 🙏​😍​ #blessed

@pisscotheque if you paint your bedroom this youll wake up evil

putting my open mouth up to the front door peephole (not sexual)

when you shotgun an entire ice pop and start suffocating and bae pours boiling water down your neck, melting the ice and saving your life 🥰😍

i've just had to see this image of a gay times magazine cover from 1997 and now so do you

it's time to look at some applications on my smartphone

if i lived in a little toadstool house in the forest I would greet every guest by saying "welcome to my fungal abode"

drinking a refreshing glass of mommy's posting juice (water)

i mite have to block another batch of trolls if the rumours surrounding my "huge milkers" continue to escalate

Planet Earth has been awarded Planet of the Earth (P.O.T.E.)

ah shit i forgot to renew my poster's insurance

I want smart toilet paper. I want to say, "Wipe Ass" aloud and it wipes for me.

i'm getting divorced "bbq-style"