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i love thinking to myself "ok now. now i MUST do some work" then regaining consciousness 45 minutes later to find myself typing "im injecting soviet truth serum into my balls" in this website box

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fuck off calling your book "eleanor oliphant is completely fine" twee curly license-free font horseshit. radio 4 book club dick ass. call your book "Pussy Popping At The Homicide Casino" or i am not reading it

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if god had wanted two dogs to email each other, he would have given the dogs fingers, and blessed them with higher reason that they might learn to read. he’d have created a computer that dogs could use, and he would have called it the BarkTel 900. it would have a power cord that looked like a string of sausages, and all the keys would be shaped like little bones. but he didn’t, and that is why the religious right spent billions of dollars to suppress the special “all-dog cut” of You’ve Got Mail

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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

tony soprano sitting in his home cinema watching the david lynch version of dune

gross 

once again, i am asking to have been born literally anywhere else

The Good Law Project has four days remaining to reach its £30,000 target to challenge the abominable waiting times for trans healthcare in the UK. If they don't pass £30k, they get nothing. Help make this momentous legal action happen!

crowdjustice.com/case/we-are-j

take me down to parallax city where the back moves slow and the front moves quickly

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LGBT People who consider themselves somewhere on the Top-Bottom Binary call for responses, Please Boost 

If you'd like to help me do science, please fill in this form. Try not to do joke answers because they're a pain. All data is anonymised and will be published, eventually. If you have any questions comments or concerns, please let me know.

Thanks!

forms.gle/9h1T5DpeMeeDHPim9

there's so many weird compilations in his vinyl collection that he's like "ah yes i bought that after i heard track 17 at a club in portugal"

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still blows my dam mind that when my dad was a young man if he wanted to hear a song he liked at a time of his choosing he had to go to woolworths and throw down £20 on an album he may or may not have enjoyed

'the shitter's clogged', the three words every woman wants to here

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites