Pinned toot

i love thinking to myself "ok now. now i MUST do some work" then regaining consciousness 45 minutes later to find myself typing "im injecting soviet truth serum into my balls" in this website box

Pinned toot

my fuckin TRANSLATION PROJECT that i've been working on is finally finished and available!! Pere Ubu's Almanac is a hefty zine create by Alfred Jarry, the guy behind Ubu Roi and Exploits & Opinions of Dr Faustroll, in 1899. i don't think it's ever appeared in english translation before and i may have done a cack-handed job of it because i am a baby who has somehow learned to use a computer!! NEVERTHELESS monoclelash.wordpress.com/2019

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

old lady names are going to make a comeback and i am going to make a mint. i have a storage unit in van nuys filled with little fake license plates that say shit like "ethel" and "bernice"

scrawling my mates ham radio call sign on the wall of a club toilet “4 a good time raise M7KTN” ha ha

for some reason obsessed with the idea that medieval peasants had CD players but the only albums available were called stuff like Songs In Praise Of Oats

when the sleep so good it doesn't matter you shit yourself 🙏​😍​ #blessed

@pisscotheque if you paint your bedroom this youll wake up evil

Pantone announces colour of the year for 2021, "Toilet Fever" (8486 C)

putting my open mouth up to the front door peephole (not sexual)

when you shotgun an entire ice pop and start suffocating and bae pours boiling water down your neck, melting the ice and saving your life 🥰😍

sexy tony blair 

i've just had to see this image of a gay times magazine cover from 1997 and now so do you

it's time to look at some applications on my smartphone

if i lived in a little toadstool house in the forest I would greet every guest by saying "welcome to my fungal abode"

drinking a refreshing glass of mommy's posting juice (water)

i mite have to block another batch of trolls if the rumours surrounding my "huge milkers" continue to escalate

Planet Earth has been awarded Planet of the Earth (P.O.T.E.)

uk census information for lgbtq+ folks 

via twitter:
The Census is coming. For any LGBT+ person who is not out you can over-write any information submitted about you via a gov.uk individual access code at census.gov.uk/en/request/acces

No-one in your household will be notified about your changes.

twitter.com/LGBTChelt/status/1

I now have a ko-fi which will not currently bring you any benefit to throw money at but will bring me £2 a pop closer to getting top surgery privately instead of waiting a total of like 7 years to get it on the NHS!
I'm not asking for anything at all from anyone unless you genuinely like stuff I do, consider it worth money, and have spare cash though, and i have no expectations
ko-fi.com/rowanblossom

ah shit i forgot to renew my poster's insurance

I want smart toilet paper. I want to say, "Wipe Ass" aloud and it wipes for me.

Show older
this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites