🎄​ @pisscotheque@godforsaken.website

i shit my pants down in africa

The Great Vowel Shift? more like the great BOWEL SHIT eh ladies

STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

blaming my academic, professional and romantic failures on lag

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's taking a shit
And he's taking a shit
And she's taking a shit

is berries a brand new instance? i thought it was created earlier this month, was i wrong?

wtf the fuck

shout out to my spontaneous friends for taking years off my life

Voretny Love

what do you mean this “doesn’t involve me”. EVERYTHING INVOLVES ME

this is the first time it's felt like i haven't had an IV drip blasting the fediverse drama directly into my veins and i gotta say... i dont care for it

posting my busted-ass takes every few months as if they were new to get boosts off the latest wave of new signups

how about this:

Silver bells,
Something smells,
It's Christmas time in the TOILET

karma is your country inventing time zones and then realising that your country is slap bang in the middle of the shittiest one

i'm battleship potemkin

claiming statutory sick pay for stupid bitch disease