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Youngledore, Dumbledore and Full of Cumbledore

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me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

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STOP TRYING TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF DEBATE ONLINE. no right-thinking person goes onto online to find strangers to "debate" with. real people, ordinary, decent people, have only come online to view gifs of skeletons fucking

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Now I'm falling asleep
And she's taking a shit
And he's taking a shit
And she's taking a shit

pere uwu boosted

not sure what i mean by this, but ive decided im gonna 'have' the moon, like, im just gonna 'have it'

pere uwu boosted
pere uwu boosted

i heard hanny and snakeboy got kicked out of wetherspoons for trying to hold a sapiosexual pride meeting in there... sapiophobia is real

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pere uwu boosted

bursting out of a giant egg that mysteriously appeared in the town square. bet you bitches thought you were rid of me... nice try hoes.

pere uwu boosted
pere uwu boosted

alc 

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planning a big stunt overnight when ill be connecting the pipes of every toilet on earth, creating an infinite network of shit and piss

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LUCIUS: my son, I was the leader of ANTIFA back in the day

DRACO: father, I know

LUCIUS: I want you to have this

DRACO: *tearing up* are these your official ANTIFA robes?

LUCIUS: yes my son. weasleys get the wall

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valid to subdue irascible women into marriage by bantering them into submission in my very humble experiecnd

say what you like about william shakespere but he sure as fuck knew how to write a story about how women are unreasonable bitches who will eventually chill the fuck out if your patter is good enough

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pere uwu boosted
pere uwu boosted

Getting my rib removed so I can plant it and grow a skellington

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godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites