when an american man walks into a quaint wee pub in Scotland and announces he is 1/8th Scottish, we all leap up with tears in our eyes & cry out "a lost son of Alba is returned to us!" and everyone busies round him and gets him a whisky and an old lady called Morag tearfully hugs him and calls him a bonny lad, and we all ask him to marry our bonny daughters, and the auld men start up a ceilidh tune and we teach him to dance like a Scot and when he's all tired out we cut off his head and eat him

@alex Tis part of the haggis recipe is usually left out, and I think that's very sad.


We bring out the (totally real) Kilt of Scotland, a magical artifact that only a lost child of Alba may wear (For 570 dollary doos plus tax)

@Chickiepup pretty much the entire scottish tartan industry is there to cater to americans so this is accurate

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