standing in front of a full length mirror nude, looking at my dick through a pair of binoculars

making a 2 hour long video essay about your hour long video essay

meet up with me irl so you can sit and think "well i'm not sure why i thought it'd go any better than this really"

Someone come smoke menthols with me in a car park, it'll be romantic

POV: you ignore me as i take a hammer to our 100-year old hardwood floors

standing in front of a full length mirror nude, looking at my dick through a pair of binoculars

cute date idea: we smash enough codeine that our entire bodies are itchy then we go on a tour of every greggs in the town

strolling into town and proceeding to fuck every single thing up

work is slightly more tolerable these days since I invented a cool new game to pass the time called "Steal Absolutely Everything"

me and JC Denton have a secret handshake and he said he's inviting me to his birthday party

thinking about me and JC Denton becoming closer as friends as we crawl through a ventilation shaft together

buffing my nuts with a rag and polishing paste for guys night out

they should stop making so many sequels but also they should make another parpapa the rapper

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites