I'm sorry that the bond you share with your dad as a son isn't as strong as the bond I share with your dad as a co-host on his gardening podcast

my two possible medieval occupations
1. plague doctor who has a constant iv drip of opium into my veins who definitely has killed people (both accidentally and on purpose)
2. bard with a lute that is also a crossbow or some shit that does party murders. i am also good at playing the lute

I'm sorry that the bond you share with your dad as a son isn't as strong as the bond I share with your dad as a co-host on his gardening podcast

"uwu", says the man in washington,

I think Kingdom Hearts is the funniest thing to see adults passionately care about.
No, don't look at all the toys i own! laugh at those nerds not me!

It is not my birthday, do not give me boosts

generating the force of a hundred nuclear warheads via the medium of friendship and love

Hey you know who's hot and cool and funny and sexy, is hanny

gotta say i liked this website more when you all talked about how hot and funny and cool and sexy i am, all day every day

oddy shook and an earbud fell out of his fur???????

fractured my elbow like a complete twat, worst bit is snakes don't even have elbows 🐍

i'd love if masto would let me assign nicknames to people so that i dont lose track of who's who when avatars or names change

I also came here on the 16th but apparently didn't post until just after midnight, happy anniversary

freedom.horse/@maggotboy/10056

How many clout points do I gain for a whole year of posting?

generating the force of a hundred nuclear warheads via the medium of friendship and love

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites