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born too late to raid monasteries

born too early to drive a mad max wartruck

born just in time to call people 'poo poo bitch' online

my take on the medical establishment: my take on the medical establishment is that i should be able to get a prescription thru a trial by combat

every day carry. heres my every day carry. i carry my keys wallet phone. keys are VERY important - help you get into your house. wallet has a few things in it. for example money. very useful, easier than keeping it in your pocket. and the phone. i think its an apple phone. i put the keys and wallet in my right pocket and the phone in my left pocket. thats my every day carry. i hope it inspires you to see what you can do with your # hashtag Every day carry

i want to pick up a big rat with the size and heft of a sock full of wet cement. but no such luck

Our Godforsaken legendary Pokémon are better imo 👉 :apple_dog: :lemon_dog:

hallo this is the yankee candle company. we’re debuting the fart themed yankee candle and you pigs will buy it and burn it in your house. what other choice do you have. thank you fuck you

I'm not sure why people get all worked up about how to produce energy when there are electric eels all over the fucking ocean

one thing i love to do while being asked questions by a detective is aggressively continue whatever hard physical labour (moving crates, splitting logs, etc) i was doing before they arrived unannounced

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this godforsaken website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites