Show more

Arguments online should never end with the phrase "thank you for teaching me, and I say that sincerely". They should end with someone losing their job or being mistakenly killed by the police. This is bullshit

how to use katana to take off diaper, set search to 'urgent'

thinking of graduating from oxbridge and then making £800,000 per year from a weekly newspaper column exploring such topics as “the much-maligned cauliflower”

wake up feeling like da vinky / drying up my winky / blow up the Google offices / ted kaczynski

whenever I have to explain the fediverse to someone I show them this pic

everybody expects the sounds from my mouth that sound like they're from my ass, but nobody expects the sounds from my ass that sound like they're from my mouth

using my Ballsack as my official seal. pressing my Ballsack into hot wax for government purposes, and government purposes only.

who graffitied "your dog has tits" on my conservatory.

With this character's death, the thread of prophecy is severed.

Restore a saved game to restore the weave of fate, or persist in the doomed world you have created.

@pisscotheque i killed the cop in my head but it turns out they were a mainline questgiver

i think i’ve got my life into an unwinnable state. i think i’ve softlocked my existence

you will be pleased to hear that i am producing the official poster for the upcoming megablockbuster movie "Dune", and this is it. it's going to look like this. i'm also directing the film.

Show thread
Show more
this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites