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hooty hoo someone left a copy of persona 5 on the Free Shit Table. i'll ave that m8

the looming apocalypse is no excuse for having better boobs than our lord jesus christ

Sick of having to buy a new toilet every time mine fills up, there's got to be a better way

*checks "fuck a gollum" off my bucket list*

who wants to pay 500 USD to watch me accidentally spill pasta sauce onto the carpet in front of me

i regret to announce that i am 100% pure. i am Sick of denying it

Every time I drive past an Arby's they have to lash me to the mast like Odysseus

going on quora to have a breakdown about my ex wife

i don't know why creepy guys with humiliation kinks bother coming to mastodon to fishhook people into roasting their gross dicks when they could simply go on quora and receive 600 sanctimonious dissertation-length essays about how bad their dick sucks

i got smitten by a radioactive spider. we met at bikram yoga and now i'm in love with her. please text me back michelle

ubuntu is what a rabbit says when they meet another rabbit

*whispering shamefully into my Alexa* sperm with big Booby's

shrinking myself down to the size of a sperm to enter my own ballsack and seduce a beautful lady sperm

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites