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hooty hoo someone left a copy of persona 5 on the Free Shit Table. i'll ave that m8

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

please take a moment to think of 'bird'. think of the pointy hard mouth of bird. think of the flapping wings of bird. think of the spindly legs of bird. now, try and tell me that bird is not weird. you cannot.

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

the looming apocalypse is no excuse for having better boobs than our lord jesus christ

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

Sick of having to buy a new toilet every time mine fills up, there's got to be a better way

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

*checks "fuck a gollum" off my bucket list*

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

who wants to pay 500 USD to watch me accidentally spill pasta sauce onto the carpet in front of me

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

i regret to announce that i am 100% pure. i am Sick of denying it

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

drunk driving to maccy ds to get the latest custom mcflurry, running over my own beloved children in the process

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted
:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

Every time I drive past an Arby's they have to lash me to the mast like Odysseus

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted
:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

going on quora to have a breakdown about my ex wife

i don't know why creepy guys with humiliation kinks bother coming to mastodon to fishhook people into roasting their gross dicks when they could simply go on quora and receive 600 sanctimonious dissertation-length essays about how bad their dick sucks

i got smitten by a radioactive spider. we met at bikram yoga and now i'm in love with her. please text me back michelle

:steely_walt:​💘:steely_don: boosted

pissco, the worlds premium piss company.

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this godforsaken website

intenernet website