whenever i commit crimes i also shit my pants, this serves as a distraction from the crimes.

kicking a football through your nans window, for my mental health

work, neurodiversity 

i have lucked into a nice job where i do receive support but i will never tell them the entire truth about my "deal". because it is hilarious how much the description of my deal just sounds like "im unemployable"

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work, neurodiversity 

@unsuspicious i think it's a smaller part of the thing where no one ever really stops being a baby, they just evolve a sort of simultaneous adult in their personality to take care of the part of themselves that can't emotionally regulate and just wants to lie around eating sweets all day. but it's wild to me that there are people in the world who can just show up to work every day and do their tasks and it's not a big deal!! it's bananas, to me

work, neurodiversity 

my coping strategies for getting work done are a ramshackle rube goldberg machine made out of guilt, fear, resentment and lies. every day i wake up and have to do the employment equivalent of tricking an increasingly wary feral cat into taking its kidney medicine, where i am both the cat and the cat's caretaker. every consecutive day that i manage to remain employed and pay rent comes as a fucking shock to me

The only 'pressure' on me right now is to keep up with my learning, but that's not a problem for me as I've always been academic (see also: a complete nerd)

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just got arrested and sliced into a thousand cubes just for saying i had a "lesbian opinion"

@envgen im going to include 1 fact in all my posts about balls from now on so you can’t yell at me

I have a voucher for a free vehicle MOT at a Halfords auto centre to be redeemed before the end of May. It’s of no use to myself or anyone else that I know and it would be a shame to waste it.

The first person to send me a DIRECT/PRIVATE reply will get the voucher and I’ll update this thread publicly to confirm it’s been taken.


@Shrigglepuss it's so infrequent that i go to the trouble of typing in a 🅱️ when naming a file. what was bill gates thinking

every time you try to learn something, something confusing will happen. this is a sign that you shouldn't try

@alex i guess the style was kind of percolating down through kids' media in the years following the peak?

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites