describing an implausible scenario for comedic purposes

remember before lockdown when we used to go to work on an egg, seems so long ago

just walked past a man and a large swan loudly antagonising one another. when i walked past he was saying " fuckin look at ya! I don't give a toss if you belong to the queen I'll fock you in the ass!" while the swan pecked at him aggressively

The ravages of climate change will not affect New Jersey. It will continue to look and smell like that

let those nuts ring like a mountain monastery

filling every room in my house with panko breadcrumbs and tunneling about the place like a mole

ME: Basiclaly its just a joke we do where whoever says theyre Bryce Youngquist the most wins
COP: Thats not what a joke is
ME: Well its good either way

me: waiting for the sun to go asleep for the night so i can kick its ass while it's not hot

at brett at foss dot town: :) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun

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men only cry about manly things, like thinking about how much they love and cherish The Boys

just woke up from a dream in which one of you fuckos gave me a meat scented air freshener

@dankwraith im here to disrupt dick sucking by using an app to circumvent dick sucking labour laws

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites