luke boosted

selfie, ec, alc mention 

it's my "drinking gin & tonic outdoors at night in the middle of nowhere" shot

luke boosted

oh hey, yea, i live on the house uphill from yours, and anyway i was rolling a giant egg around the other night and it kind of got away and crushed your car. also your garage and your tool shed. flattened your vegetable patch too

luke boosted

remember before lockdown when we used to go to work on an egg, seems so long ago

getting reports that catrin is good and I'm inclined to believe them!!

luke boosted

i stole your dads unison branded ballpoint pen and now im going to prison for life

luke boosted

google how to remove termite from urethra

human urethra dimensions

anteater tongue how long

luke boosted

fucked a termite nest and long story short, i need to borrow an anteater for something

luke boosted

pussy like a fucking undergraduate degree in architecture

luke boosted
luke boosted

nice balls mate, are you running linux on them

luke boosted
luke boosted

my friend's mum used to crush egg shells before throwing them away, which she put down to a superstition that if you threw away an intact eggshell, a witch would use it as a boat

luke boosted

If anyone is interested in Welsh medium pop music, i started a Spotify playlist for every song I’ve ever heard on Radio Cymru. It’s a bit bare atm, but I intend to update whenever I have the radio on in the background.

open.spotify.com/playlist/5reh

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luke boosted
luke boosted

She just insisted on getting me out of bed, then when I got up to see what she wanted she laid down in the sunny patch I was in

luke boosted
luke boosted

losing my mind imagining a white guy on youtube who does acoustic covers of rap songs and he's called 'strum the jewels' or some shit

getting a glimpse of them blessed uplands I am ready to melt into them

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites