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just in case you were wondering, you can jangle you keys in front of me and i will giggle

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Catrin boosted

it's my birthday, give me some boops 😈

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does the vaccine give you male autism or female autism? i can't let them get unbalanced or the they/them assembly will revoke my enby card

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which one do i like more between trains or buses? that's a great question. shut the fuck up. it's buses

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Catrin boosted

the new pokemon's ability is listed as "gooey/rattled" and buddy, same

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how dare you sir. i am considered a smoking hot piece among my people

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new character

entire name: vagina
catchphrase: "my name is vagina"

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Catrin boosted

let me give your dog haircuts. i have:

-no training
-no idea how to do it
-will cry
-the most expensive rates in town

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spoiled little rat
and i get what i want (various seeds and grains)

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I hate it when weebs call themselves "freaks" like freak in what way are you a kinnie or are you a nazi

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Catrin boosted

manga: my name is prince booby and i've come to take you away to the kingdom of boobies

me: fascinating

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Catrin boosted

no one congratulated me for kicking the habit of saying "not to suck my own toes" therefore I will resume saying it effective immediately

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Catrin boosted

me:

me:

me, opening very easily visible nsfw content on a crowded train:

me:

me:

me:

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites