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since we're in story mode on this most holy of nights: one time i was on a train with friends, i was like 14, i thought it'd be funny to punctuate a joke i made by farting as loud as possible, but i followed through and like VISIBLY shit myself and had to run for the toilet, which was occupied btw. this used to haunt me everytime someone mentioned a train, let alone i was near the station.

a less good but still fascinating story from a year later: I was walking home in the dead of winter, thought "I'd be so funny if i pissed myself right now". stood opposite my house, and just full on did. I don't know what i expected, it was so cold, I don't understand why I did it

@garfiald i swear i only ever intended for something like "AND THAT'S *fart* A FACT!" or whatever but what happened was the equivalent of "AND THAT'S *violently shits self*"

@kasia you know that is precisely the kind of stand-up comedy i would gladly pay £22.50 pounds to see at the endinburgh fringe festival

@kasia @garfiald Just so you know, I just died of vicarious embarrassment and am now ded.

@melivia @garfiald in the eyes of most of society and frankly a worryingly large proportion of doctors, yes

@kasia oh no i hope u learned ur lesson about playing with farts

@kasia loling at you telling this story for the second time to my knowledge

@gayalien the first time i told it out loud was to you folks on voice chat, i have been cleansed

@kasia you should have done that on the walk back from shitting yourself on the train

@garfiald i should've kept my shit in the same jeans for an entire year just so i could've pissed myself that one time, but like, plus shit

@SouthernGothHick welcome, if anything it's significantly more pleasant than the others

@kasia i've had to hold back laughter at work because of this

@kasia i admire you for your ability to follow through, honestly

@kasia this is quality content that i follow kasia at godforsaken dot website for

@jojo gonna shit in your honour from now on, crank out a solum "this one's for jojo" seconds before the deed begins

@kasia The world would be a much better place if everyone would once in a while just dedicate a #ShitForJojo

@kasia can't wait to reach the bottom of the UK singles chart on RYM

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