usually i buy all my presents on christmas eve but im doing alarmingly well this year because im scared i could get covid and be bedridden at any time

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i think my friends and fans online should club together to buy me a helicopter

i could mc along to all of this at some point which is a skill i have sadly lost (ive just tried). obviously can still do the bit where he's simply listing the metro stations but not it all. sad.

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what was the classic tune that was bluetoothed around your school in 2005 mine was this belta about the local light rail system

face down ass up yeah im just stretching my lower back

i wasnt gonna work from bed in my new improved post mental breakdown life however, is cold.

see we are talking about known pervert mr mime. please keep him off my tl.

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bro, let me roast your chestnuts, just let me warm them up a bit bro

'daddy yankee' is one of the funniest names going

it's called 'minimalism' and its when i throw your things in the bin.

i have always said "fuck off" and so have my family. we have been a "fuck off" family for generations. haters dont know this.

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saying "fuck off" to people isn't a real thing. no one ever said "fuck off" to one another before the hallmark company decided to invent yet another fake holiday

it's really good to be a bully actually. makes you look cool and powerful.

i used to sometimes leave the joker in and just smack it down mid uno round

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i bought some knock off uno cards like 6 years ago and all of the images were slightly off and there was also a joker card in the box. it was very funny.

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๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ,
๐™„๐™ ๐™‹๐™๐™Ž๐™ƒ ๐™”๐™Š๐™ ๐˜ฝ๐˜ผ๐˜พ๐™†๐™’๐˜ผ๐™๐˜ฟ.

๐‘บ๐‘ฌ๐‘ฌ ๐’€๐‘ถ๐‘ผ ๐‘บ๐‘ท๐‘จ๐‘ช๐‘ฌ ๐‘ช๐‘ผ๐‘ช๐‘ฒ...

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this godforsaken website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites