I will not be understanding any more numbers today. I have thought enough about numbers today and will start to comprehend numbers again tomorrow.

Jupiter is too big. I can deal with the sun being incredibly large. I cannot deal with Jupiter being a thousandth of that size.

3. your mind might just not let you start healing at all if you aren't ready and you aren't safe.

4. that said, an intensification of the really harsh, distressing symptoms β€” flashbacks, nightmares β€” can actually be a sign that you might be ready to move towards healing. it's a sign that your taboo, the avoidance of your trauma, is getting less complete β€” that's how the traumatic memories slip through, and it's what lets you revive and heal some of the connected memories around it

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the important thing to remember is:

1. the pain of being re-exposed to trauma is real. you walled those memories off for what, at least at the time, were very good reasons. I am not telling you to harm yourself β€” just to take small emotional risks from a place of safety and a real need to grow

2. it is critically important that you feel safe. if you don't feel safe, you don't heal, you harm. you want to prove to yourself it's safe to go back to old memories that lie on the edge of your trauma.

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Didn't make a new years resolution because I didn't have any faith in myself. I now have more faith in myself, so I'm going to claim it as achieved for the feel goods.

in 2020 i'm growing a freaking sense of self

Kind of wild that my avatar hasn't yet been this actual painting of me but I've fixed it now

sometimes i look up at the moon and think, know who else is looking at that very same moon? MILFs in my area. and it puts me at ease

Didn't get enough sleep and my stomach is unsettled so now I'm getting anxious by association of feeling πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

weed methods 

Dry herb vape pros:
- no combustion
- minimal vapour
- nice and warm in hands
- smells toasty
- eat the decarb stuff you get after using it, get high twice on your weed!
- barely any smell
- get high in public without people knowing
- have fun watching the digital display and feeling like the future is kinda neat actually

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weed 

"please don't make me pay more money to continue getting stoned in the healthiest way for me that I can find"

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Trying to get the company that makes my vape to replace a part required for cleaning after the warranty has ran out πŸ™ƒ

"I just want to do nothing and be happy and not get yelled at."

Wandering through Mastodon High School, blissfully unaware of who the cool kids are and who's in what clique

You don't need a twitter account, people will screenshot things they think are worth sharing and show them to you anyway

Cab app money off code 

I have a code for 50% off your first ride with Bolt. It also gives me some money off, which is a big help!

AMELIAHSM

(Sorry I know this isn't very cool of me but I'm poor lol)

Well I don't seem to be going back to sleep, so I'd better commit to the other option and get up rather than just hang out in bed feeling a bit weird.

There's a specific melancholy to waking up before the world without meaning to

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this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites